I bit my tongue until it didn’t bleed.
I clenched my fists until my hands were numb.
I held the tears and wished I didn’t need
To hide myself and feign that I am numb.
I wish that I could scream out to the skies
That I am here, with needs and wants and fears:
Instead, the way I face the world belies
My inner rages. It is all veneers.
I feel that I stand alone despite
Assurances from those who hold me dear
I only know that, wakeful in the night,
The ones I want around are only here
As sleeping bodies, or words on a screen.
Surrounded, I’m alone: present, unseen.

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